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  Dusty Doll contd. Two years ago today, I met the woman who would do so much more than simply change my life. She made it her own, and taught me to make it my own for her without any conscious effort on her part. The avatar known as Vidal Tripsa changed from 'clueless explorer' to 'doll with a purpose' inside of a week.
  
  Now, that most cherished of my loves has gone.
  
  It pains me to have to justify what I say, but I need people to know that this is not some melodramatic blaming session, nor an angry rant at my now-departed keeper. I love and cherish Soph's memory still, and I will remain hers eternally. I know nothing else, which is part of my problem - how does a doll go on when she is left alone, no matter how positive and just the cause is?
  
  The truth is that I do not know, and while the conflict causes me no pain at the moment, I am stuck between a disconcerting life in which my Rosa Mystica binds me only to the abstract, and that scariest of prospects - the 'remove account' link.
  
  The fact I cannot remove myself from this to-and-fro concerns me, but I know that what I need most rationally is an outside stimulus to help right myself. I cut myself from many of these some time ago by my own anti-sociability.
  
  And so the doll grows dustier upon the shelf.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Dusty Doll contd. Two years ago today, I met the woman who would do so much more than simply change my life. She made it her own, and taught me to make it my own for her without any conscious effort on her part. The avatar known as Vidal Tripsa changed from 'clueless explorer' to 'doll with a purpose' inside of a week.
  
  Now, that most cherished of my loves has gone.
  
  It pains me to have to justify what I say, but I need people to know that this is not some melodramatic blaming session, nor an angry rant at my now-departed keeper. I love and cherish Soph's memory still, and I will remain hers eternally. I know nothing else, which is part of my problem - how does a doll go on when she is left alone, no matter how positive and just the cause is?
  
  The truth is that I do not know, and while the conflict causes me no pain at the moment, I am stuck between a disconcerting life in which my Rosa Mystica binds me only to the abstract, and that scariest of prospects - the 'remove account' link.
  
  The fact I cannot remove myself from this to-and-fro concerns me, but I know that what I need most rationally is an outside stimulus to help right myself. I cut myself from many of these some time ago by my own anti-sociability.
  
  And so the doll grows dustier upon the shelf.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  I'm Ready This article is cross-posted from my new Dreamwidth blog. I know it's not exactly in keeping with what this blog was about, but.. that's one reason for creating another, really. My apologies if anyone's still been watching this space. As those who know me in-world would guess though, not being around much gives me very little at all to talk about! It's for this reason that the new blog takes a much more personal slant. I will, however, keep general dolly themes in mind for this blog's future, though.
  
  I think I'm ready to be again.
  
  For those coming to my blog anew, this will probably sound a little odd, but you should know that I have been quiet for a long while. I'm using this space, a kind gift from a friend of my family, to try and 'get my mojo back', 'find my voice' - however you want to put it.
  
  For those perhaps coming to my blog as linked to from the dusty corners of the web I once frequented.. hi! I missed you, but as I'm sure you know, I missed me too.
  
  There are many reasons why I stepped away, and only a few of them were actually by my own will, or that of my Puppeteer. For coming back I need to focus on the moving on, and I have decided that actually, little is going to change. Before I left, work at Extropia had taken over a hefty part of my life, but I was still clinging on to my hobbies at Vidal's Dolly Realm and on lovely sites like Tumblr, or with friends about the social web. I'm not sure how much of this is actually going to continue, as I accumulated a good bunch of wasteful channels, and so I'll be culling these as I go along.
  
  What I found missing was my sense of wonderment, of play and of fantasy. The grind of building at Extropia had become pretty numbing, as much as I adore the place, and for over a year now I've been conjuring little fantasies inside my head, never able to share them. This was a particular nuisance for leaving me a tad distanced from those I love, who I feel were also being left out a bit. The ultimate embodiment of this has been my doll's house. One day I'll try to describe this place, and in fact it may even be a good serial topic for this very space on Dreamwidth, but for now I'll describe it merely as a home in my imagination for all the fun things I want to do with my digital life, with some very special people, and for my own sense of.. not even 'well-being', but 'being'.
  
  So, I'm ready. Ready to be more 'me', to speak out a little more, and hopefully to share some more. It may be risqué, the kinks may be quite niche, but it may also be fun. I hope it will be.
  
  Thank you.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  I'm Ready This article is cross-posted from my new Dreamwidth blog. I know it's not exactly in keeping with what this blog was about, but.. that's one reason for creating another, really. My apologies if anyone's still been watching this space. As those who know me in-world would guess though, not being around much gives me very little at all to talk about! It's for this reason that the new blog takes a much more personal slant. I will, however, keep general dolly themes in mind for this blog's future, though.
  
  I think I'm ready to be again.
  
  For those coming to my blog anew, this will probably sound a little odd, but you should know that I have been quiet for a long while. I'm using this space, a kind gift from a friend of my family, to try and 'get my mojo back', 'find my voice' - however you want to put it.
  
  For those perhaps coming to my blog as linked to from the dusty corners of the web I once frequented.. hi! I missed you, but as I'm sure you know, I missed me too.
  
  There are many reasons why I stepped away, and only a few of them were actually by my own will, or that of my Puppeteer. For coming back I need to focus on the moving on, and I have decided that actually, little is going to change. Before I left, work at Extropia had taken over a hefty part of my life, but I was still clinging on to my hobbies at Vidal's Dolly Realm and on lovely sites like Tumblr, or with friends about the social web. I'm not sure how much of this is actually going to continue, as I accumulated a good bunch of wasteful channels, and so I'll be culling these as I go along.
  
  What I found missing was my sense of wonderment, of play and of fantasy. The grind of building at Extropia had become pretty numbing, as much as I adore the place, and for over a year now I've been conjuring little fantasies inside my head, never able to share them. This was a particular nuisance for leaving me a tad distanced from those I love, who I feel were also being left out a bit. The ultimate embodiment of this has been my doll's house. One day I'll try to describe this place, and in fact it may even be a good serial topic for this very space on Dreamwidth, but for now I'll describe it merely as a home in my imagination for all the fun things I want to do with my digital life, with some very special people, and for my own sense of.. not even 'well-being', but 'being'.
  
  So, I'm ready. Ready to be more 'me', to speak out a little more, and hopefully to share some more. It may be risqué, the kinks may be quite niche, but it may also be fun. I hope it will be.
  
  Thank you.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Two

  

  So, I feel like a wisened old dolly now. I turned two years old yesterday, on Valentine's Day, and have once again given myself the excuse to be all.. reflective an' stuff.
  
  I feel like my world has some very real clarity to it. This past year was somehow far more momentous than my first one, despite that one having turned me from the tanned Vidal of Mindulle to the porcelain doll you've come to know - from solo adventurer to beloved family member, and a creator of trinkets to co-founder of a nation. This second year has been punctuated by major changes of its own though, and many of these will evolve over the course of my coming year. Throughout it all though, I know that the love I have for my family is stronger than ever.
  
  Following an extended period of doubt and (sadly) depression, I'm far surer of myself now than I've ever been, although there is still a long path to follow. That stands true for myself and for my Puppeteer, themselves not immune to the changes I and my family have endured.
  
  One member of my family has sadly departed for a spell, but she's left us with characteristic dignity in a period of bittersweet calm. I am proud of my Argent, and her spell has only affirmed the relationships we of the Family Stenvaag have with each other.
  
  I came to understand my sense of place. In accepting who and what I am, a sense of ease has descended upon myself and those around me. This has prompted some major changes to my second life, and although I cannot speak about this much now, the first change was my departure from New World Notes. Naturally, my appointment as a games writer there was one of the highlights in my past year, and it was fun. Still, times changed and I sought to remain true to myself.
  
  I found that this 'truth to my myself' raised a curiosity: I'm celebrating my rezday today, but why did I not do so yesterday? I think that for the first time in such a long while, I felt no need to be me. No obligations, only pleasure and acceptance that things are allowed to come as they may. For that I enjoy relief today, and the sort of calm which I believe comes from being a mature digital person. Here's to my next year, of calm and enjoyment of this tender and beautiful world I'm a part of.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Two

  

  So, I feel like a wisened old dolly now. I turned two years old yesterday, on Valentine's Day, and have once again given myself the excuse to be all.. reflective an' stuff.
  
  I feel like my world has some very real clarity to it. This past year was somehow far more momentous than my first one, despite that one having turned me from the tanned Vidal of Mindulle to the porcelain doll you've come to know - from solo adventurer to beloved family member, and a creator of trinkets to co-founder of a nation. This second year has been punctuated by major changes of its own though, and many of these will evolve over the course of my coming year. Throughout it all though, I know that the love I have for my family is stronger than ever.
  
  Following an extended period of doubt and (sadly) depression, I'm far surer of myself now than I've ever been, although there is still a long path to follow. That stands true for myself and for my Puppeteer, themselves not immune to the changes I and my family have endured.
  
  One member of my family has sadly departed for a spell, but she's left us with characteristic dignity in a period of bittersweet calm. I am proud of my Argent, and her spell has only affirmed the relationships we of the Family Stenvaag have with each other.
  
  I came to understand my sense of place. In accepting who and what I am, a sense of ease has descended upon myself and those around me. This has prompted some major changes to my second life, and although I cannot speak about this much now, the first change was my departure from New World Notes. Naturally, my appointment as a games writer there was one of the highlights in my past year, and it was fun. Still, times changed and I sought to remain true to myself.
  
  I found that this 'truth to my myself' raised a curiosity: I'm celebrating my rezday today, but why did I not do so yesterday? I think that for the first time in such a long while, I felt no need to be me. No obligations, only pleasure and acceptance that things are allowed to come as they may. For that I enjoy relief today, and the sort of calm which I believe comes from being a mature digital person. Here's to my next year, of calm and enjoyment of this tender and beautiful world I'm a part of.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Dusty Doll I'm sorry.
  
  Friends and family have been neglected, and I'm aware that there are people outside my usual contacts list who might be reading tweets or articles, or perhaps even trying to get in touch with me at Extropia, but the fact is that as a doll living in Second Life, I am depressed.
  
  Nasty or annoying times have come and gone, but my Second Life (in capital letters) feels unsavoury like never before. I've no intention to leave, but I feel like I have so few reasons to stay, either. My second life (lowercase) is moving wonderfully as ever, but is being dragged down by SL's hardware glitches, some unwelcome obligations and an increasing level of rudeness. One might look upon a list like that and see no cause for my complaint - even when taken alone, these are matters which pose no real damaging threat, which is to say little when compared with other reasons for staying away. Still I'm beginning to realise that this is not what I want from my second life. I live for the indulgence in beauty, the warmth of a supportive family and the joy in being able to do what I want to. I'm a doll. I most certainly should not be looking to my first life for escapism, and yet now that is precisely what I'm doing.
  
  So, I'm sorry, but I cannot bring myself to 'be' right now. I'm absolutely keeping up communication with those I care most about via the various chat and web 2.0 platforms I have outside the Grid, but for now I really feel a strong need to keep the hell away from the Grid itself.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Dusty Doll I'm sorry.
  
  Friends and family have been neglected, and I'm aware that there are people outside my usual contacts list who might be reading tweets or articles, or perhaps even trying to get in touch with me at Extropia, but the fact is that as a doll living in Second Life, I am depressed.
  
  Nasty or annoying times have come and gone, but my Second Life (in capital letters) feels unsavoury like never before. I've no intention to leave, but I feel like I have so few reasons to stay, either. My second life (lowercase) is moving wonderfully as ever, but is being dragged down by SL's hardware glitches, some unwelcome obligations and an increasing level of rudeness. One might look upon a list like that and see no cause for my complaint - even when taken alone, these are matters which pose no real damaging threat, which is to say little when compared with other reasons for staying away. Still I'm beginning to realise that this is not what I want from my second life. I live for the indulgence in beauty, the warmth of a supportive family and the joy in being able to do what I want to. I'm a doll. I most certainly should not be looking to my first life for escapism, and yet now that is precisely what I'm doing.
  
  So, I'm sorry, but I cannot bring myself to 'be' right now. I'm absolutely keeping up communication with those I care most about via the various chat and web 2.0 platforms I have outside the Grid, but for now I really feel a strong need to keep the hell away from the Grid itself.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Onwards to 2009 I suppose it's customary for a blogger to reflect on what's passed and what lays ahead on such days as this. I'm just glad of the excuse to write, given my lack of dolly inspiration lately.
  
  

  

  2008 has been a peculiar year, and my Puppeteer's been musing on that too. In around the first half of the year I became the focal point of my Puppeteer's two lives, and came to understand a little of the working Second Life. Given how Extropia's communal architecture is not the highly-detailed beacon of sci-fi creativity that I'd hoped for, it wasn't a particularly productive working life. Still, opportunities came and went, I and my family ploughed on, and towards the latter half things began to change dramatically. I can't really go into details, but these changes are now building up and I find myself slowly adapting to them.
  
  2009 is going to be a big year for me personally, as well as for my Puppeteer in their First Life interests. It's likely that you'll see less of the dolly Vidal as time goes on, but this may be a positive thing too. 2007 was the year in which I was born and moulded, growing from solo explorer to part of a small group at Mindulle, to family doll and community architect. By 2008 I had my family and a purpose in Extropia, and this year has been a steady anchor. In 2009 though, it's Puppeteer's turn for maturing and breaking out into the metaverse, and I believe I shall come to find my place as a more mature, reflective doll sat upon the shelf. Clearly, I hope never to be abandoned to First Life sensibilities, but a fantasy can only continue for so long before matters risk turning sour.
  
  I'm hoping that 2009 will still be resplendent in beautiful things to strike my awe, in fantastical adventures to excite my very existnce, and for prosperity to allow my second life a few luxuries here and there. That would be nice, and in the critical climate of our metaverse and the atomic world it echoes, I hope you can enjoy some of that too.
  
  ~ Vidal

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Onwards to 2009 I suppose it's customary for a blogger to reflect on what's passed and what lays ahead on such days as this. I'm just glad of the excuse to write, given my lack of dolly inspiration lately.
  
  

  

  2008 has been a peculiar year, and my Puppeteer's been musing on that too. In around the first half of the year I became the focal point of my Puppeteer's two lives, and came to understand a little of the working Second Life. Given how Extropia's communal architecture is not the highly-detailed beacon of sci-fi creativity that I'd hoped for, it wasn't a particularly productive working life. Still, opportunities came and went, I and my family ploughed on, and towards the latter half things began to change dramatically. I can't really go into details, but these changes are now building up and I find myself slowly adapting to them.
  
  2009 is going to be a big year for me personally, as well as for my Puppeteer in their First Life interests. It's likely that you'll see less of the dolly Vidal as time goes on, but this may be a positive thing too. 2007 was the year in which I was born and moulded, growing from solo explorer to part of a small group at Mindulle, to family doll and community architect. By 2008 I had my family and a purpose in Extropia, and this year has been a steady anchor. In 2009 though, it's Puppeteer's turn for maturing and breaking out into the metaverse, and I believe I shall come to find my place as a more mature, reflective doll sat upon the shelf. Clearly, I hope never to be abandoned to First Life sensibilities, but a fantasy can only continue for so long before matters risk turning sour.
  
  I'm hoping that 2009 will still be resplendent in beautiful things to strike my awe, in fantastical adventures to excite my very existnce, and for prosperity to allow my second life a few luxuries here and there. That would be nice, and in the critical climate of our metaverse and the atomic world it echoes, I hope you can enjoy some of that too.
  
  ~ Vidal

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm
• 

  Licensing My Own Face? My good friend Botgirl recently posted an interesting primer for Twinity, the beta-version 'mirror' virtual world. In it she described how her avatar instantly took on a more familiar appearance through the face mapping tool, almost certainly designed with first life self portraits in mind. In Botgirl's case of course, she founded her appearance by photographing herself inside Second Life, then uploading the image to Twinity for its software to map the new face. The results speak for themselves, as she looked just the same - a rarity amongst avatarkind. The things is, she didn't create her appearance. I'm not aware who she buys her skins from, but whoever it is we immediately face an interesting question of artistic copyright - something else which Botgirl has sought to discuss recently.
  
  

  

  My perspective on this is the doll's perspective, naturally. My appearance is at the very core of who I am, and it's not just because I'm proud of my own form. I stoutly refuse to change because I want to be unique and recognisable. It makes sense then that I too would want my presence in other worlds to follow that suit. Yet my appearance is founded entirely on other people's work, rearranged by myself into some sort of humanoid playlist.
  
  When we photograph ourselves and use that image in other worlds or even in profile pictures and the traditional 2D avatar as on Facebook, do we owe anything morally or legally to the skin texturer and hair designer? Moreso than clothes, they're a part of our image, and yet they're made in just the same way. On the other hand, are skin, eye and hair merchants accepting the fact that they are selling licenses to use the image of their product regardless of the world that image is used in? As well as this, what do we owe to creators who make whole avatars? This moral maze must be ten times more difficult when we consider robot, furry and dragon avatars, for example. Compared to them, this doll counts herself lucky.

  Vidal's Dolly Realm © 2007 Vidal Tripsa. Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.

  ~1 year on
  Vidal's Dolly Realm